I had an experience with someone I know that I want to share. I’ll call this person “Pat” and use male pronouns. I have changed many details to protect Pat’s privacy.
My take home points are: (1) make sure you know the physical address of people you care about, particularly if they are having significant problems, (2) if you are worried about someone and cannot physically visit them, call the local police to have them check. That is why you need the physical address. The police may not be excited about trying to track someone down from their cell phone number.
Pat had been declining for years due to losing a job, relationship issues and health problems. Some time ago, he called me to tell me that “this was the end”, and he was going to harm himself. He had the number of a suicide center but would not call. I had no idea what to do – I didn’t know any of his friends or family who might help. I wondered if he had any other close friends. His significant other appeared to have left him. A physician friend of mine suggested I call the local police, but I didn’t know exactly where he lived. I made my best guess, and spent a fair amount of time getting transferred around and explaining what I knew, which was not that much. Since I was not sure this police department was going to do anything, I called Pat again, and surprisingly he gave me his address. I called the correct police department, who was at his place in 2 minutes.
The police asked some questions, and ultimately took Pat to a hospital with a psychiatric department. Within a day, Pat was released home and to the significant other, who was now back in Pat’s life to some extent. I have called Pat several times since. He was mad at me at first. Didn’t I know he wasn’t serious? But eventually he “forgave” me for calling the police. I actually thought it would be much worse.
There is no great ending. Pat is not suicidal, but still seems pretty miserable. His significant other is back, at least for now. I am a little more grateful for my life, which seems pretty good in comparison. I also feel a stronger obligation to help those whose life is not so good.
Tuesday, February 26, 2019
Sunday, February 17, 2019
17 February 2019: Living without a car in Detroit's suburbs - an update
Living without a car in Detroit’s suburbs, an update
17Feb19
It has now been almost 2 years since I gave up driving (technically I just gave my car to one of my kids; I can drive if I want). There were several reasons: to reduce my carbon footprint (i.e. take action against climate change), to get more exercise and to see what it would be like. I was also worried about driving after a stressful day. I had no accidents, but was not as attentive as I thought I should be.
After two years, I can confidently proclaim that I am not going back.
I never realized how much stress was connected with driving - I just assumed it was part of life. But when I listen to other people, I now realize how much easier and less stressful my life is because I don’t drive. This is what I don’t worry about - moving cars around in the garage or driveway, shoveling the driveway, warming up the car in the morning, flat tires, cars that don’t start, dodging cars when leaving my house, driving in bad weather, driving when tired or sick, slow traffic, bad drivers, getting lost, parking, car maintenance, car insurance, car payments, tickets, accidents, getting a tow, getting a rental car and buying / leasing a replacement car.
There are problems with not driving, but they seem minor. In the warm weather I bike, and sometimes I get caught in the rain or get a flat tire. It’s annoying, but not that bad. Rarely I fall, but at least to date, I have only had some bruises. Sometimes I take the SMART bus, which involves some waiting. Once the bus hit a car and went “off line” until a supervisor came. I got a ride from someone else, rather than wait. If I am worried that the bus is not showing up, I can use Uber / Lyft as a backup.
In the cold weather, I use Uber and Lyft. For the past 2-3 weeks, in the morning, Uber does not seem to work for me. No cars are available, although once I tried the “upgrade” of Uber XL, which did work, but cost an extra $5. Fortunately, Lyft cars have been available. I use both and check the best price - often there is a dramatic difference. The drivers are typically interesting and pleasant. I like talking to most of them about their lives. Some are not the friendliest, but none are hostile or threatening, unlike the taxi drivers in my past.
My life is now simpler. I don’t spend the weekend running around doing errands. I bundle trips, shop online, and avoid doing things that really are not important. If I am meeting someone and there is a supermarket nearby, I will try to go there afterwards. This also introduces me to different places to shop.
What about the cost? I estimate that ride sharing costs me more in the winter than car ownership, but less in the warm weather when I bike. Even if it does cost more overall, it is worth it to me to have my own personal driver, so that I can work or sleep or socialize with the driver, instead of anxiously watching the road. In addition, I get dropped off and picked up right at the door of my office or wherever I am going. The down side is waiting, typically 5-20 minutes, for the driver to arrive, but I just read or use the computer. Every once in a while I have to go back and forth between the Uber and Lyft apps for a few minutes until I get a decent rate.
Living without a car works for me, but I am not preaching - everyone has to figure out how to optimize their own life. But you should know that not having a car is a possibility, even for someone with an active life.
Prior articles about living without a car:
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